New Year's Goal-Setting For Parents

The New Year is an ideal time for reflection and renewal.

Here is a question to help you reflect on your parenting.

It is a question.................to ask your kids.

This is the same question I asked each of my kids one year and the answers gave me a real shock. In fact, the answers made me stand back, have a good hard look at myself and put some changes in place. I won't go into detail but they did involve how I spent my time and how I spoke to two of them!!!!

Here's the question:

"What do I have to do to be a better parent?"

You have to pick your time to ask this. You don't ask this when they are sitting in front of the TV watching their favourite show or when they have a friend around. D'oh!

You don't have to use these exact words. Some variations could include:

"I'm doing my New Year's resolutions. Anything I need to take on board next year from your perspective?"

"I'm always giving you advice. What's one bit of advice you'd give me."

"If you were tell me one thing that would lift my parenting game, what would it be?"

You get the picture!

NB: If you have kids below primary school age answer the question yourself from their perspective, rather than ask them.

This question and its derivatives are behavioural. That is, they focus on what you have to do, not be.

If you do ask this question you may get a great response or you may simply get a grunt. Either way, as you set those New Year's resolutions consider making one of them a parenting goal. Here's how to make your goal effective:

1. Write it down and stick it in a place where you will see it.
2. Make the goal behavioural - i.e. it involves what you will do and say more in 2009.
3. Make the goal positive, not negative -i.e don't say what you won't do, say what you will do!
4. Check out how you are going at the end of January.
5. Then adjust your behaviour, not the goal, accordingly. That's how you can become a better parent one step at a time.

This year make sure you set yourself at least one parenting goal. And remember, that just one idea turned into consistent action can bring big improvements in any situation. You just have to take action.

Michael Grose is Australia's NO. 1 parenting expert. He is the director of Parenting Ideas, the author of seven books for parents and a popular presenter who speaks to audiences in Australia, Singapore and the USA. Get your FREE Chores and Responsibilities for Kids Guide when you visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au

Get a hold of Michael's sensational new book Why First Borns Rule the World and Last Borns Want to Change It at http://www.michaelgrose.com You'll be astounded when you learn about your birth order personality and how the position in your family impacts on your life!